This morning, I don't need to leave for work early as I usually do. G has told me about the chaos in the mornings as we have the arrangement that my sister will come round and get the girls ready and take them to school so G and I don't have to worry about this. I usually leave so after she arrives, but G is stays in bed until after they go. He can hear them messing about and up and down the stairs.
Today the youngest one is glued to her tablet, watching a video on You Tube. My sister sends her upstairs to get washed and dressed. She has this delusion that both girls will just come down and present themselves in pristine condition. This doesn't happen!
She calls up the stairs to the little one to put the tablet down "otherwise I'll get Auntie to take it off you"!
I'm so annoyed, why have I got to take it off her?
"because you've got to be the bad guy" she says. I feel upset more than anything else, why have I got to be the bad guy? I want to be the fun Auntie, that spoils them and provides a place they can come and chill out. But because she can't parent properly and cant say No, I have to be the one to provide the discipline and proper structure. I've been a single parent. I was for 10 years and to a degree I still am. J is my son and I've had to play both roles, which I feel has been a success as J is a calm, independent child and trained in the ways and routines that I have created.
The chaos at home continues as I leave work. She really has no morning routine.
The social worker was due to visit my sister yesterday, but had to rearrange so went this morning instead. My sister hasn’t phoned to tell me the outcome so when the social worker phones me in the late afternoon to tell me the outcome. She informs me that the girls bedroom is sufficiently clear and tidy and that great progress has been made in the lounge (of course it has – I worked bloody hard to do that!), she recommended to my sister that the girls stay at mine for another week or so until the lounge is properly clear, but my sister was adamant that the girls should return home on Wednesday, to allow her one more evening to ‘finish up’.
Today the youngest one is glued to her tablet, watching a video on You Tube. My sister sends her upstairs to get washed and dressed. She has this delusion that both girls will just come down and present themselves in pristine condition. This doesn't happen!
She calls up the stairs to the little one to put the tablet down "otherwise I'll get Auntie to take it off you"!
I'm so annoyed, why have I got to take it off her?
"because you've got to be the bad guy" she says. I feel upset more than anything else, why have I got to be the bad guy? I want to be the fun Auntie, that spoils them and provides a place they can come and chill out. But because she can't parent properly and cant say No, I have to be the one to provide the discipline and proper structure. I've been a single parent. I was for 10 years and to a degree I still am. J is my son and I've had to play both roles, which I feel has been a success as J is a calm, independent child and trained in the ways and routines that I have created.
The chaos at home continues as I leave work. She really has no morning routine.
The social worker was due to visit my sister yesterday, but had to rearrange so went this morning instead. My sister hasn’t phoned to tell me the outcome so when the social worker phones me in the late afternoon to tell me the outcome. She informs me that the girls bedroom is sufficiently clear and tidy and that great progress has been made in the lounge (of course it has – I worked bloody hard to do that!), she recommended to my sister that the girls stay at mine for another week or so until the lounge is properly clear, but my sister was adamant that the girls should return home on Wednesday, to allow her one more evening to ‘finish up’.
I’m disappointed and feel unreasonably angry. Why wait
another evening? Does she have plans and its convenient for them to stay at mine?
I really wanted to get the lounge completely clear, but I know that work will
stop now.
I ask the social worker about the help they were going to
provide along with a skip and she said she would still be pushing for funding
for this and they would continue to visit regularly. I’m cynical, I’ve been
here before and it’s the same old story.
I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake wasting all those
weekends at my sister’s house, she would never have got this far so quickly
without my help (and that of G and his mum) and yet do I get a thank you? No,
nothing.
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