#BankHolidayMonday

Day 20 - Monday

So it's bank holiday Monday and I'm dreading the thought of spending yet another day at my sister’s house. At a cost of £130 I’ve arranged for a rubbish removal company to come and clear all the rubbish we put in the back garden. They're due to come at 3.30pm, so I head over about 2pm to get a few more bags of stuff out.

They're late and eventually arrive at 4pm. There's an alley way between her house and the neighbours and the two chaps get started on lugging the bags and boxes and general rubbish down the alley and into the van. I want to get this done quick so start carry bags and bits myself. My sister stands and watches and every so often so picks things out that she now wants to keep or according her should never have been there.

It doesn't take long maybe 20 minutes and it's all gone.

I leave a half filled bin bag in the middle of the lounge by the TV telling her to finish clearing the sofa and walk way through the lounge.

It's so tiring, I can't see how this is ever going to be fully sorted out and if by some miracle it is I know my sister will ever maintain it. I'm starting to think maybe the girls should stay with me long term, but this will turn my family upside down and I was at a stage in my life where I could start to be selfish. Focus on my career, enjoy trips away with G and plan for my son to go to university. I don't want to take on two small children and start all over again

My head hurts from thinking about it constantly. I'm not sleeping well and I feel angry all the time.

Gone!