It's all up to her

Day 30 Thursday

Finally managed to get hold of the social worker. I kept leaving messages & she's call back when I was in meetings & unable to answer the phone, which led to me becoming even more frustrated & pissed off.

So when I finally got the opportunity to have my say I just ended up ranting at her, which I later apologised for. I wanted know why we had been invited to a child protection conference & she said she was still investigating under section 17 Child in Need. This would take another 2 weeks then it would be decided as to what action to take next. I got the destiny feeling she was hoping my sister would have cleared the house by then so they could just close the case

I asked about the help she was suppose to be arranging & the skip, which still hadn't been arranged. She said they were still waiting to agree funding, again I got the impression she hoped we'd sort it out so they didn't need to do anything more.

I raised my concern that the house was nowhere near ready or suitable for the children to return & that I thought this would be an ideal opportunity to really strip it back & start a fresh. I am concerned that once the children return that really will be the end to anymore clearing and that I don't think my sister has really learnt anything from this experience.

At this point words were tumbling out my mouth...I was annoyed at the lack routine for the girls that they have clubs every weekend evening & don't get to sleep until 9.30-10pm because when they get home they are buzzing after their club and don't have proper time to chill out before bed. That they always get 'on the go' quick tin spaghetti or sandwiches (they have school dinners so don't need a dinner in the evening, my sister says), but yet they always eat a second meal when we cook for them & seem to constantly be hungry. And we eat at the table together, using proper plates & knives & forks, not plastic things.

I don't know why my sister doesn't get it. She just seems to want to do the nice stuff, but is rubbish at the discipline & actual day to day routines.

Don't get me wrong I'm not claiming to be the best mum in the world, but my son's 14 now and we haven't had too many problems. I pride myself on having proper meals in the evening together (even though G cokes mostly now!) & that he's a chilled & laid back boy (not just because he's a teenager!)

I told the SW I was torn between wanting my life & house back to normal & my desire to keep the girls safe & in a nice environment. And I'm cross at the SW for putting me in that position.  I was happy in my ignorance of not knowing what the house was like & about their inappropriate lifestyle

I felt better after the phone call. I'm not sure I really achieved anything but I said what I wanted to say

I phoned my friend later & related the conversation with the SW and part of me wished I hadn't spent the last 4 weekends doing her house. That perhaps if I hadn't we would have seen what she's capable of and then I could have made changes to the girls routine for the better.

I've agreed with G that we won't be going to her house this weekend. It's up to her now. Let's see what she can do on her own.